REVIEW: School Girls, or the African Mean Girls Play @ Jungle Theater

The tale of the “it” crowd is all too familiar for just about anyone that’s been in high school. It doesn’t matter where you grew up because every school had that seemingly impenetrable clique. They exuded confidence and grace in a time when most of us were fighting our strange insecurities and awkward body issues. In our pubescent eyes, they had it all.

Set at Aburi Girls’ Senior High School in Ghana in 1986, Jungle Theater’s production of School Girls, or the African Mean Girls Play, is a highly entertaining story that brings an all-too-familiar American concept to the life.

The Queen Bee (aka Regina George) of the school, Paulina Sarpong (Ashe Jaafaru), makes her status known both in what she says and how she says it. She rules the school with both favors and cruelty. “Are you determined to look like a cow?” she pointedly asks her larger-sized classmate Nana (Salome Mergia) near the top of the show. Nana immediately exchanges her porridge for an apple, which is “a good source of fiber,” according to Paulina. Too bad the other members of her clique have no idea what that means, but they go along with Paulina’s cruel words with laughs, while she’s around, and later they apologize to Nana, proving that deep down they are more than just her cold-hearted pawns.

The main plot centers around the arrival of a recruiter for the Miss Ghana beauty pageant, and the girls upcoming audition to become Miss Ghana 1986. As the HBIC of Aburi Senior High, Paulina is sure to win and has made it clear that while it is “necessary” for the other girls to audition, they don’t stand a chance. In addition to the shy Nana, there is Mercy (Kiara Jackson) and her cousin Gifty (Nimene Sierra Wureh), the comedic duo of that show that are both considered “average beauties,” and Ama (Aishe Keita), a smart and sensible girl, who is completely uninterested in the pageant but a willing participant nonetheless.

While it seems like Paulina is the “perfect” (and only) choice to represent Ghana, her status and prowess are suddenly threatened when a new girl transfers from America. The mixed-race daughter of a local cocoa tycoon Ericka (Eponine Diatta) is an immediate draw for the other girls, who fawn over her lotions, hair products, concert stories, and lighter skin, quickly forgetting about poor Paulina. With Ericka in the picture, Paulina’s chances at winning Miss Ghana 1986 are suddenly at risk, and she very quickly proves that she’ll do just about anything to bring home the crown.

When Eloise (Hope Cervantes), the recruiter for the Global Universe Pageant and former Miss Ghana 1966, finally arrives she makes it clear that while she wants to find a girl to represent Ghana well, but she also wants to find a girl that will appeal to a “wider” (aka whiter) audience. Eloise is hellbent on having Ghana showcased on the universal stage, and if she can find the perfect candidate not only will she get a raise but the all-girls school will receive a sizable donation. And while at first, the proposal seems unfair, Headmistress Francis (Ivory Doublette) decides to join in on the plan because after all, the school could use the money.

Even though it’s no secret this opportunity would mean the world to Paulina, in Eloise and Headmistress Francis’ eyes, Erika is their frontrunner. When the big day finally arrives, the auditions start off “promising” (including a well-played montage of “The Greatest Love of All”) but soon tensions rise, secrets are spilled, and the whole production is flipped on its side as all is revealed.

Playwright Jocelyn Bioh does a great job of creating a story that is not only highly engaging but packs a powerful punch in a short time. She is able to create a series of characters that grow and change believably in 75-minutes, a feat many shows try to accomplish but unfortunately do not. At no point do we lose interest in the show or turn our backs on Paulina, who could quickly be a bitch for which audiences hold no sympathy. And maybe it’s Jaafaru’s superior acting choices or maybe it’s Bioh’s complex writing but either way, it works and it works well. Like every “mean girl,” Paulina’s persona stems from deep insecurities, which surprise surprise, Ericka also seems to have.

School Girls is an ensemble show that delicately toes the line between hilarious and heartbreaking, and easily accomplishes much more than shows twice its length. Bioh should be proud because not only is Jungle Theater’s production a shining example of how her work should be presented on stage, but the play itself is impressive and in my personal opinion timeless. There will always be mean girls and unfortunately there will always be colorism within races.

“School Girls, or, The African Mean Girls Play”

• When: Now - April 14

• Where: Jungle Theater (2951 Lyndale Avenue)

• Information: 612-822-7063 or jungletheater.com

(Photo by Dan Norman)

(Photo by Dan Norman)

The Ballad Of A “Non-Apologizer”

I’m stubborn, and while I’m not always willing to admit that, most people who get to know me are able to figure it out pretty quickly. Oh, and guess what? Norris (my partner) is also stubborn … correction, he’s “rigid.” Sorry if you’re reading this, Norris, but we both know it’s true and either way I still love you. xoxo.

We tend to agree on most things, but I’d be lying if I said we haven’t had our fair share of heated disagreements. Feelings are hurt. Emotions are high. And sometimes neither one of us is willing to budge and give up the power … AKA apologize. Why is it that saying sorry is so hard? Each time we come to these emotional crossroads, I dig in my heals and try to twist and turn the situation. I will pick out particular details that lean in my favor and hope that by end of the discussion, I will come out victorious and on the opposite end of an apology. It’s just too bad that Norris has learned my not-so-secret super strategy, and has started using his own strategy of never giving me what I want in these moments. #stalemate

When this happens we both tend to go our separate ways for a while, until someone eventually starts the conversation again. It’s by no means apologizing, but life goes on and usually one of us (if not both of us) has decided that whatever we were fighting about doesn’t deserve any more of our attention … and at the end of the day it really wasn’t worth it. So again I ask myself … why is apologizing so difficult? Each time we find ourselves tangled in this strange emotional dance, I try to figure out why I’m refusing to say the words. Is it because I truly believe that I deserve an apology? Is it because I know I’m wrong, and I’m just refusing to admit it? What is happening and if it’s not important … why can’t I just mumble two words and end the fight?! We spend too much time laughing and enjoying each other’s company to waste time being passive and silent. If a simple sorry will get us back to laughing, why not say it?

A quote to live by courtesy of Dorinda Medley, current cast member of Bravo’s Real Housewives of New York.

But this actually goes beyond just the relationship I have with Norris. It’s family. It’s friends. It’s coworkers. It’s even complete strangers. There’s something strangely difficult about admitting that I was wrong, or that I possibly hurt someone else’s feelings. From what I’ve read, I’m what some might refer to as a “non-apologizer,” which means exactly what it sounds like. #sorrynotsorry

Even as a child, I struggled to admit fault and apologize. In elementary school, while showing off my newfound “karate skills,” a classmate decided to say I looked weak and that she could punch better than me. So … I used my sweet new skills and punched her right in the face. Probably not one of my finest moment but third grade Noah was upset and took action!

Waiting in the main office for my parents to arrive, I knew I’d done something wrong but when they said I had to face this girl and apologize, oh hell no! Absolutely not. My defense was that she started it by making fun of my karate, so why didn’t she have to apologize to me?! It made sense at the time, but my refusal to say sorry resulted in a week of no recess AKA the worst! Lesson learned, right? Wrong, but also I was eight-years-old so there’s that, too.

Cut to this last week when my “friend” did, in fact, read my blog and was not-so-surprisingly a little upset about it. When I saw his text come through, I rolled my eyes. What did he want? Who cares if he read it, right? He struck first and he should apologize to me. It’s not my fault I called you out on your shady comment and followed it up with a few suggestions of my own. Whoops. My bad. I thought that was allowed since clearly we were giving each other notes.

Was it petty of me to put his life on blast in a post … it sure was, but I didn’t care. After a few texts back and forth, both of us trying to explain why the other needed to apologize, I took a deep breath, and finally just caved. I could continue to drag this out like an ill-fated housewife trying to make the most of her final season on Bravo, but instead, I apologized because ultimately his feelings were hurt and for that, I was slightly sorry. Yes, he hurt my feelings first. And no, he didn’t bother to apologize on his end, but in a few weeks, none of this would even matter.

Recently, I’ve tried to wrap my head around the idea that saying sorry doesn’t always have to be about admitting that you were wrong, but more or less apologizing for the fact that you hurt someone. Of course, you should ABSOLUTELY apologize if you’ve done something wrong, but sometimes saying sorry falls into a grey area. Even if you can rewind the tapes and prove that you did nothing wrong, if feelings on either side were hurt in the process … an apology might be necessary. We are all humans (at least I hope so), and there are times when the super shields we put up to protect our emotions are penetrated. Unfortunately, a majority of the time it’s by the people we love and respect the most. Why? Because it’s when we’re around those people that we lower our guard and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, and it’s their words and actions that tend to carry the most weight.

Where am I going with this? My point is … don't be afraid to say sorry and don’t be afraid to call someone out and ask for an apology if/when they hurt you. However, it should also be noted that saying sorry is a two-way street that requires both parties to take action. If you’ve done something wrong you should say sorry, but knowing when to say it also requires someone to admit they need it in order to move forward. And if someone apologizes … forgive them and mean it.

WARNING: Don’t dredge up old shit. If you are owed an apology, you do have a window of time where you need to bring it up or squash it and move on entirely. Asking for an apology because someone said something shady that hurt your feelings four years ago at a mutual friends barbecue while you were both drunk is old news. Let. It. Go! Now if that barbecue was last week … damn right you deserve an apology!

Apologizing doesn’t make you a weaker person. It makes you a bigger person. And if you hurt someone you love and care about … just say sorry. Speaking of which, I’ve got a few people I should probably go apologize to … right after I go demand a few apologies of my own. JK!

- Noah Lee Jordan (#WNN)

Don’t believe me? Check out a few articles on the subject of saying sorry.

• I Can’t Apologize (Sorry!) - New York Times

• 5 Reasons Why Some People Will Never Say Sorry - PsychologyToday.com

• How to Deal with a Friend Who Never Says, “I’m Sorry” - Hello, Giggles

SONG OF THE BLOG (#SOTB): “Someone Gets Hurt” - Mean Girls on Broadway

#TidyingUp with #WNN

I’ve posted a couple times, but I feel like I need to backtrack for a minute. I was so excited and nervous and all the other emotions about starting this blog that somewhere in the process I missed a step. It wasn’t a HUGE step, but it’s a necessary step nonetheless. I forgot to lay down a few guidelines and expectations.

Anyway … I’ll keep this post brief since sometimes brevity isn’t my strong point. The point of this post is to set clear expectations, and keep myself accountable in the process! It’s a bit selfish but who cares? So without further delay … let’s start #TidyingUp!

1. Should you choose to continue along this journey with me — and I hope you do — here’s what you can expect. I will always be straightforward and honest. There’s not much to hide, but I will always keep it real when necessary.

2. I will post EVERY OTHER Wednesday starting tomorrow … yay! Up until now, I’ve just been posting as the material comes, but I think before I get too deep in the process having a schedule is key. That doesn’t mean there won’t be occasional bumps in the road, but still … having a schedule is important.

3. I said this before, but not every post is going to be sunshine and lollipops. There will absolutely be a few posts that aren’t tailored to all readers. I also have a small tendency to curse; however, I will make sure that it isn’t willy nilly and abused. I will do my best to make sure that if (and let’s face it when) it happens, it’s only used to punctuate the message.

4. If you don’t like something, want more of something, or simply have questions and suggestions you desperately want me to see … head over to the “Contact Me” page and feel free to send me a message!

5. As I mentioned in my very first post, I am not an “expert” on anything. So the things talked about in this blog should be taken with a grain of salt and not as fact. These are all merely my opinions. And if for any reason, I am asked to write about certain things AKA create a “sponsored post,” I can promise you that I will be honest and transparent about the arrangement and adjoining content.

Now that we covered those five things, you can look forward to your first “regularly scheduled post” tomorrow!

- Noah Lee Jordan (#WNN)

SONG OF THE BLOG (#SOTB): “Work B**ch” - Britney Spears

Season One, Episode Two

If you’re reading this right now, it’s because I’ve somehow suckered you into coming back for another post, and now the real test begins. Can he do it again? Was his first post just a fluke and he’s really just some whack job on a rant?

These are both great questions, but guess what? I can’t answer them, only you can; however, I will say that Why Not Noah? should be digested like a new show with a midseason premiere. I’ve only been green-lit for a few episodes, but it’s my job to prove to everyone that I deserve to be picked up for a full season. Does that make sense? Is everyone still following? Sticking with the television comparison, most shows take a little time to really develop their rhythm and find what works. It’s pretty rare for a show to have a flawless first season, but if you know some, please let me know because I love binge-watching television!

Seriously though, think about how many times have you’ve recommended a show with the warning, “you have to give it a few episodes, but then you’ll be hooked!” Look at Schitt’s Creek, Parks & Recreation, Seinfeld, Breaking Bad, or even Buffy the Vampire Slayer … those first few episodes and even those entire first seasons are bumpy and nothing special, but they all became television giants. (Click here, to check out a few more popular shows that had shaky beginnings.)

I’d like to think that’s me. I’m that show but in a blog format. So before anyone jumps on the “Hater Express,” just give it a few episodes and then you can feel free to tune out. I say all of this because before I launched this blog and my first post, I was already extremely nervous. Putting yourself out there for any sort of judgment is actually kind of awful. I work in radio (nope, not the on-air part) behind-the-scenes, and every day I watch some of my incredibly talented coworkers put themselves out there. This is where my job comes in, I get to sit at my desk on social media and watch all the comments come rolling in; including the dreaded internet trolls. No matter how great the show was that day, these people will nitpick every second of it looking for flaws they can latch onto. It’s obnoxious, but unfortunately that’s the world we live in.

Needless to say, when it came time for me to move forward with #WNN, that’s all I could think about … the trolls.

The haters.

The negative Nancys.

The vampires lurking in the glow of their screens ready to sink their janky teeth into my post and tear it apart.

But I watch my coworkers do it every day, and it never stops them from coming back. Part of putting yourself out there is dealing with haters. And hey, at least they’re talking about you. It’s when they aren’t that you should worry. So I channeled my inner Samantha Jones … I prayed for the gays and published my post.

It was terrifying but oddly satisfying. My new baby blog was out there on Facebook for everyone to see, and with that I quickly logged out. I wanted to enjoy the immediate high a little longer. I didn’t want to see anyone’s comments. I didn’t want to know how many likes it got. I didn’t want to know anything. Not yet. And not that I’m vain enough to think there would be “haters” this early, but nowadays, everybody has an opinion or an idea of how you should do things that quite frankly most of them know nothing about.

I finally logged back in a few hours later, and to my surprise and delight, the response was pretty positive. I was feeling great … until I got a text message from a “friend” with a few notes.

THEM: You finally did it! I can’t believe you actually started a blog!

ME: Thanks! Yeah, I was really scared, but I figured why not?!

THEM: I like it, but what are you gonna write about? Do you even have enough content for that?

ME: I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out the hard way. I have a couple different plans.

THEM: Oh, I would never start a blog without at least 10 posts ready to go. I mean, aren’t you going to be embarrassed if you run out of ideas before you even really get started? I couldn’t do it. I would be so embarassed.

ME: Oh, damn! I see after one post she already has notes for me. I guess I should’ve come with a pen and paper to this conversation. Haha. But to answer your question, I’m not too worried. I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, and I’ll just have to cross that bridge if and only if that day ever comes. It will be a fun little learning experience!

Our conversation moved to a new subject and eventually fizzled after a few more texts since let’s be honest, this “friend” really falls more in the acquaintance column.

I tried to let his comments go since overall I was feeling pretty damn good about my little blog, but they just kept lingering in the back of my brain. In all honesty, I wasn’t necessarily hurt by the conversation, but rather annoyed and frustrated. This was all coming from a guy who announced a giant “life-changing” move to NYC (complete with a “GoFundMe” page) so he could pursue his dream to be Broadway performer! That was four years ago, and since the move, he’s really only managed to pick up a few pounds and a few service industry gigs in the process. And now … he doesn’t even perform. BUT GUESS WHAT?! There’s nothing wrong with that, and in all four years, I’ve never once asked him how embarrassed he was for announcing his dramatic departure and Broadway dreams, only to give up on a career before even having one? I could’ve easily dished out a few notes of my own for him, but instead, I kept my mouth shut. His body. His choice. His dream. His life.

But Noah … where are you going with all of this? Before yesterday I had an entirely different post ready to go for the big round two reveal. It was gonna be quick and funny (in my opinion) and the perfect bite-size read to keep you satiated; however, my plan was derailed by a few shady text messages.

Sure, I could’ve ignored those messages altogether, not said anything, and stayed laser-focused on my original plan. Instead, I choose to go rogue 72 hours into the process and take a risk by writing this post instead. But as I sit here writing, that’s what excites me about this blog. I’m in control, and if I want to go rogue, that’s my choice. This is my creative baby, and these first few posts may be bumpy and a bit whacky, but so am I. As I keep learning and growing, I will do my part to tighten things up, find what works and hopefully create something special. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. Huzzah, that’s fine with me!

So if you’re teetering on the edge of trying something new … go for it! Take a risk, and feel free to tell the haters where they can shove it. At the end of the day, I would rather be, “nine people’s favorite thing than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing!” I already know I’m my own favorite thing … so I’m 1/9 of the way there!

- Noah Lee Jordan (#WNN)

SONG(S) OF THE BLOG (#SOTB): I went through a few phases while writing this post, so now you get not one … not two … BUT THREE songs to enjoy!

“Die Vampire, Die!” - [title of show] - Original Cast

“Hate On Me” - Jill Scott

“Nine People’s Favorite Thing” - [title of show] - Original Cast

Genesis: A New Beginning

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, unless you believe in the “Big Bang” theory then feel free to go with that, but since my name is Noah I feel like the biblical beginning matches my “brand” a little bit more. Fast-forward a few thousand years, and one special day my parents created me, AKA Noah!

Now let’s be honest, I’m no fool. I certainly know the world existed long before my arrival, but deep deep DEEP down I’d like to think that despite being pretty average on a daily basis, something truly special happened on the day I was born and that somehow my simple existence made the world a better place if even for a minuscule moment … I can dream, right?!

Anyway, on to the topic at hand, and really the reason you’re here. A blog. Yes, a blog and specifically my blog. There are plenty of blogs about food. There are tons about travel. And there are about a million when it comes to fashion and pop culture — with the rise of the internet, everybody and their gay uncle Sam suddenly decided to plug in, log-on, and become a blogger. Yet, here I am — late to the party — throwing my tiny hat into the ring, stepping up onto my soapbox, and blabbing into the proverbial megaphone that is known to all as a “blog.” I am joining the throngs of people and officially decided to call myself a blogger.

So … why now? Good question.

IMAGE: Lars Dean, Puerto Vallarta

If you’d asked my partner Norris, he would’ve told you this day would never happen. I’m the worst when it comes to commitments like this. Not in a relationship way but more in the, “I love to make plans and talk about grand ideas, but can never seem to buckle down and do it” kind of way. Just ask him how long it took me to pick a gym membership. Guess what? I’m still undecided. Ugh. But either way, back to the question … why now? To which I answer, why not now? And specifically why not Noah?

There’s actually a lot that goes into the “why” of it all, which I’ll post about at some point, but when I initially thought about the concept it was nothing more than a joke. Scrolling through my feed I saw all the people who claimed to be “bloggers” and “influencers,” and laughed. Whatever they were selling, I sure as hell wasn’t buying. I also loved calling people out for being what I considered, “off brand.” Finally I had the epiphany, why don’t I just write a blog!? It would be fun. It would be random. But most importantly, it would be whatever it wanted to be and it would be mine.

Again, there’s much more to this story but I’ll spare you the details right now. Moving forward though, I want to be clear that I’m not technically an expert on anything. I’m not the first person people run to when they want to know about fashion … or food … or travel … or fitness … or Disney (that’s my partner Norris) … or even pop culture, which I oddly do know quite a bit about. I am however an early stop when people just want to have fun, which is why I guess I am calling this a “lifestyle” blog.

All this being said, welcome to my official coming out blog! This isn’t my first or even my second coming out — it’s actually my third (more on that in the future), but you know, third times a charm, right? As you read, I might say things that are unfavorable, and you might disagree. And while I don’t appreciate the idea of hurting anyone’s feelings or making them upset — I have to stay true to myself and be completely honest in the process. So I apologize in advance, but there won’t be any beat around the bush; say you look nice but make you think twice happening here — no ma’am.

I’m excited. I’m nervous. And I’m ready to take you on this journey. Who knows … you may read this and say, “hell no!” But I hope that at the very least you find my blog mindlessly entertaining and slightly amusing. Life is all about the adventure, and what’s an adventure without company … so come along or don’t. The choice is yours!

– Noah Lee Jordan (#WNN)

FUN FACT: Music really helps me write, so at the end of every blog post I will include the song that inspired me, AKA my “SONG OF THE BLOG (#SOTB).” First up, Harry Nilsson’s “Gotta Get Up” made recently popular by the Netflix show, Russian Doll.